Welcome to My Crisis

    Hello, my name is Jayden. I am a 23 almost 24 year old going through existential crisis daily. This is supposed to be comedic but also showing the voice of younger mind experiencing todays world, through the good, bad, and disgustingly ugly. If I make any grammar mistakes, please don't let that take priority in what you are about to read. I want you to read my heart and mind, not my punctuations.

    Why did I start blogging? Doubt any of you asked but here is my answer. I love journaling, I'm sure most do. Me doing this can help me connect with people who could be feeling the same way. Crisis does not come with an age. It is a feeling like no other. I invite you on my journey on finding myself, and can hopefully help someone do the same.

    My current situation is simple. I'm unemployed. I didn't get fired, this was my decision. I worked for a start up company that disrespected me and my abilities. I left because I wasn't going to wake up at 7am just for me to be bullied by some privileged lady at 9am. 2 hours to get ready? Yes! I already told you I'm 23, I care about my appearance a lot. Also I had to drop off my mom to work before I went to my job. This was supposed to be a dream job for me and using our context clues, that didn't work out too well. My career of choice I think is interior design. I am more lost than a kid losing their mom at the mall. Trust me, I was one of them. I would love to try this career again but I feel like my cards are stacked against me. But as I say to get by during turmoiling experiences... womp womp. In all genuineness, I'm scared. I'm the people pleaser, the bandaid kid. I can't help whilst being unemployed. I don't want to be a failure but I feel like that's what I've been since birth. A pitied, disappointment. I don't mean to be so depressing, but this is honestly how I feel. 

    My goal by doing this is to find out who I am. Not who my family wants me to be. Not how people see me. Who I am and who I want to be. My capabilities aren't defined by people around me but only myself. As I write this there is a very large amount of doubt. That is what I have to work through the most. The doubt, the life lessons I was forced to learn that I now have to erase. Wish me luck on this or my downfall, whatever to your liking. I honestly got really sleepy and feel myself getting a cold to this is where I will decide to end it. Thank you friends for listening to my little vent!

Your hostess with the mostess,

Jayden :^)